No pursuit and I'm happy with what i'm

One day, I just stopped and analyzed my habits ‘What I am doing’

 I was walking home from a friend room, and my mind started wandering back to the memory lane. I had been tracking my daily expenses, and trying to figure out what I spent each month.And the numbers and just the sheer amount of expenditures was shocking.It was the trigger that my mind finally used to connect that I was showing signs of unhappiness by wanting to fill that empty void with stuff.I knew that I was buying items that I didn’t need, just because I created a need in my head, and thought I was fulfilling that to create the perfect life.


You know how people say:


• If I earned 1,00,000 more, I’d be happy and life would be perfect.
• If I bought that red coat, I’d be happy and life would be perfect.
• If I went on that vacation , I’d be happy and life would be perfect.
• If I could just clear my debt, I’d be happy and life would be perfect.

The first thing I struggled to grasp was that there was no such thing as a perfect happy life with the perfectly decorated home, and the perfect wardrobe. Every time I bought something I thought I wanted/needed, I had a new list of stuff cropping up to replace it.

There are always going to be problems, pain and sadness. It isn’t easy to be objective about yourself. I found a lot of excuses about why I did what I did. Why I purchased things I didn’t really want or need, and justifying my purchases. But instead of beating myself up of my past mistakes, I cleaned the slate and started anew.

The first thing, was to figure out the unhappy areas of my life. It didn’t have to be anything serious, but just things that made me sad or upset each time I thought about it.I needed to look for the triggers of that sadness. My new rule was that they had a right to let out the frustrations and complaints, but if they weren’t willing to listen to what I was going to say, then I didn’t want to hear their complaints.

If they aren’t ready to make changes, then I am just wasting my breath trying to help them. It still sorts of frustrates me thinking about it, but then I just tell myself:


“Hey, they chose to do that. No one forced them into those decisions. And while they may complain about it, they’re still doing it. So I just have to assume that they’re actually happy, because why would you do something that makes you unhappy? “

I am still working towards this new attitude in life. It isn’t a deadline or a project, and it gets easier with practice and time, once it becomes a habit.I’m working on not putting so much emphasis on stuff, which has started to become a natural attitude and feeling just in the past year. When I see something I want, I think: Do I really want that? Or do I want it because I’m bored?.
I am focusing on getting the best from my life, emotionally. It’s hard to explain, but for instance, I am making peace with my family’s unusual behaviour and I can’t control everything, and letting go of that control is helpful.

Sometimes it’s best just to let them go and remember that they are HAPPY doing what they’re doing, not unhappy — because if they weren’t happy, they’d stop.

I want to live in the moment, not in the future.

I am focusing on what I want first, and then figuring out what I need to do to get it. For example, I may want to retire early, and I am not planning on living it up with champagne and strawberries in retirement, so I may not need as much as I originally thought. Yes, I want to be safe and conservative, but now I can tell myself: Who cares? Go on that vacation for a month — seriously, it’s what you’ve wanted for a while, and FORGET about the money you could be earning and saving for that month.


Money isn’t everything! And living in the moment now, rather than excessively worrying about the future is what I am focusing on.


Cheers,
Sudhan