How dare you leave me 'my girl'...???

I am dreading waking up tomorrow roughly this time--10 pm, one month ago on that awful November,when I got the call telling me you were not LOVING me. Do you know what it feels to hear it..? You are lucky, you will never know. How could you leave me "THOZHI", how?

You are no more "THOZHI" and one month has gone by. Time is marching on, but you are not here. Why "THOZHI"?

I don’t even know why I am writing this. I don’t even know where to begin "THOZHI". I don’t even know if I am making any sense, but it doesn’t matter, does it? Perhaps it is to let you know how much I loved you, but you already knew that. Then why? It is said that pouring out ones feelings will have a cathartic effect. So if I am writing this for selfish reasons, so be it. I need to find some peace "THOZHI". Will this terrible ache ever diminish?

Why did you go "THOZHI"? Were you fed up with me so soon? Why "THOZHI"?

You and I had a unique relationship. Our relationship was pure, compassionate, loving, wickedly humorous and illuminating. Who else could have called me as "chellam" after our only third or fourth conversation over the phone? How we used to talk "THOZHI" for hours on end, forgetting time and money. I will never hear your voice again. Why "THOZHI"?

You took it upon yourself to give me advice on so many issues, and when I look back, most of them were uncannily on the mark. You admonished me for relying on medication for some of my ailments. Didn’t that advice apply to you "THOZHI"? I wouldn’t be writing this gibberish, if only you had. Why didn’t you follow your own advice "THOZHI", Why?

When you vanished from my horizon, I never doubted that one day I would see you again. And I did "THOZHI"!! I will never forget that first day when I called you, and you said........... I was overjoyed; you could not have known how much happiness you brought into my life. Why then did you go so quickly "THOZHI"? Why?
We knew each other for less than five years, but what a great time we had "THOZHI"........ Did you know that my heart was brimming with pride because you were so very, very cute. I never tired of speaking about you and boasting about you. You had such convincing answers for everything. So what is the answer for your "leaved me" "THOZHI"?

You were not the only one who had dreams of your future "THOZHI".You promised to visit and the first place we would go would be the beer place.You broke your promises "THOZHI". Why? Our dreams were just that dreams. Why couldn’t our dreams become reality, "THOZHI"? Why?

I never knew if you enjoyed our time together as much as I did. How could I ever have known my allocation was only less time....... Did you know that so many people thought I should not have made the trip? Right or wrong, I wouldn’t trade those days for anything in this world. Tell me "THOZHI", did I cause ripples that turned to waves? What happened in five short years, "THOZHI", and why?

I could go on and on.......but will you come back "THOZHI"? No! I am left with memories, only memories, a great big void, a heart that breaks every time I think of you, and so many questions for which I will never get answers. Will you answer me "THOZHI", will you tell me WHY?
I waited 19 years to see you, and will wait until I can see you again. I know I will, and when I see you, you will give me answers, won’t you "THOZHI"? Until then, have nice peaceful life, my dear, dear "THOZHI".